It is clearly about pleasure and enjoyment. Narcissism is a valuable notion for a feminist analysis of our current social reality. A woman can support masculine vanity then, as long as she is not a full person, as long as she remains an inessential complement: a prey he hunts, a muse from which he draws inspiration, a treasure he keeps.35 Narcissism provides the ideal woman to play this role: someone who already enthusiastically sees herself primarily as an object, who is already distant from her subjectivity. Faced with unprecedented independence and opportunities, have they really made that much progress? Cat Person, a short story by Kristen Roupenian that went viral when it was published in the New Yorker in 2017,was about a relationship between a young, desirable woman and a chubby, loserish older man, Robert, who turned out to be a textbook misogynist. cookies Roupenian, Kristen (2019). These are precisely the delights of domination and mastery that Beauvoir associates with masculine vanity (2011: 193). Largument de Simone de Beauvoir contre le naturalisme. A Viral Short Story for the #MeToo Moment. "Dont think Roupernian did anything wrong but 'Cat Person was real and by all accounts a nice and normal guy' is the funniest possible outcome to literally years of discourse," one person wrote. This individual unfreedom is intimately linked to the social subordination of women. Retrieved from https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2017/12/so-cat-person-short-story-has-made-straight-men-feel-uncomfortable-good, Grandy, Constance (2017, December 12). "There needs to be policy and legislation in place to protect women from this kind of treatment. She finds that her tears are like a magical spell she can cast to control someone into coming back to her. For others, it was about a manipulative young woman who used and discarded an awkward man. Nevertheless, the basic framework of analysis here remained close to the dominant pop feminist reading. Narcissism is an appealing temptation for any human being confronted with the burdens of subjectivity (Bartky 1982: 134).27 In narcissism, the self is posited as an absolute end, and the subject escapes itself in it (Beauvoir 2011: 667). Ergo. In Hengehold, Laura and Bauer, Nancy (Eds. The problem with narcissism is not that it is an abstract moral fault. As we will see, however, narcissism is not merely about the body. [] many women are incapable of real love, precisely because they never forget themselves. Retrieved from https://nylon.com/articles/cat-person-excludes-black-women. Does the new Gossip Girl capture gossip in the social media age? Published Friday, October 9, 2020 3:30PM EDT Last Updated Friday, October 9, 2020 4:09PM EDT Secondly, Margot is constantly surprised by what she does: giving Robert her phone number, getting in a car with him, and going to his house. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118795996.ch8, Melo Lopes, Tolentino, Jia (2019). Part of what it is to be a narcissist is to actively adopt a certain way of thinking about oneself. Beauvoir is very explicit: from a practical point of view it is a costly enterprise to adorn the idol, to put her on a pedestal, to erect a temple to her (2011: 681). Too often it seems to spiral unpredictably, and I dont think its right that he should lose his job, or be ostracised from friendships. Urban Daddy. I want to propose instead a feminist reading of Cat Person through the lens of Simone de Beauvoirs notion of narcissism. Narcissistic women are particularly enthusiastic accomplices. She is not physically attracted to Robert, but she enjoys his protective attention. Real relationships rarely fitinto neat narratives about power dynamics and abuse. It is rather something actively adopted: an enthusiastic turning of oneself towards oneself. Cat Person. It was strange and harrowing and a poor choice on my part. Margot meets Robert. Selfish Women. What follows is Margot and Roberts first kiss, which she thinks is terrible. Can a virtual PA turbocharge your career? This is the story of a man trying to coax a woman he doesnt really know into bed and an example of how patriarchal culture and male violence, even if only potential [] compel women into unpleasant or even nonconsensual sexual encounters (MacDougald 2019). Our ability to be critical readers is important for writers, too. She is both subject and object at these moments, reveling in what seems to be a relationship with herself, first and foremost. Indeed, I want to suggest that thinking with Beauvoir about this kind of fraught sexual encounter may breathe new life into our popular feminist thinking. When we cannot even understand that a short story is fiction, and that a writer has carefully chosen how to construct herworld, with its own architecture and a universe separate from our own, we flatten it completely, and we also flatten our own ability to think critically. In making herself her supreme end, she dooms herself to the most severe slavery (2011: 681). This is why reading Margot as a narcissist matters. -- Another way to elaborate this objection would be to cast it in terms of the notion of adaptive preferences. Robert showed her more open need than any of the others, even though he was older, and must have seen more breasts, more bodies, than they hadbut maybe that was part of it for him, the fact that he was older, and she was young (, It is worth noting that, when the price is too hard to bearwhen she is having sex with RobertMargot doubles down on her narcissistic strategy. Men want and women want to be wanted; sex is a staged encounter that she does not enjoy but passively endures because she knows it shows her off to good effect. Ergo But, reading through the online wars on the short story, it felt like something was being missed. https://doi.org/10.3917/lhs.179.0190, Cosslett, Rhiannon Lucy (2017, December 12). "In order to address this it just cant come from other women, it needs to come from the top down," says Siegel. I could phone the police, but I dont really know what they would do. I would feel guilty about doing that to anyone. I cannot be complicit in something I cannot avoid doing. Vain men like Robert need a woman they can conquer and possess, an Other through which they can confirm themselves as sovereign subjects (Beauvoir 2011: 213). Margot is not really present in these moments. Preceding the debate around Aziz Ansari by a month,7 Cat Person was the catalyst for a shift in the public conversation. In the end, this continuous self-referential engagement is also bound to become off-putting to others. Published during the explosion of the #MeToo movement, Cat Person certainly captured the zeitgeist (Nicolaou 2019). (Ed. This insight moves us towards a more nuanced way of thinking about ethical responsibility under conditions of gender-based hierarchy. Home care workers take their case to the United Nations to demand an end to the 24-hour workday. I will then present, in the third section, my alternative reading of Cat Person as a study in the phenomenology of narcissism. (2017, December 23). 2021 10; Even if I did know how to feel about it, I would still have no idea what to do about it. Although she may be abiding by a norm of feminine niceness, she is also recognizing the self-centered nature of her engagement with Robert which is, indeed, capricious. Later in the story, Margot wonders if maybe what she likes most about sex is the way young men look at her, stunned, drunk-looking, needy.36 This is exactly the kind of moment that gives the story its uncomfortable and skin-crawling quality. "Honestly the only interesting movie you could make out of Cat Person would be one based on the sequel article," another said. Retrieved from https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-the-new-yorkers-cat-person-story-struck-such-a-nerve-20171212-h02z71.html, Parker, Sam and Wilkinson, Abi (2017, December 12). We can say that, although oppressed, women are not completely powerless in the face of social forces. But others judgement is also unbearable to him: it threatens his illusion of ultimate sovereignty and control, it is a source of conflict and rivalry (Beauvoir 2011: 159). People online claimed that Doja Cat was "talking to racists and laughing to their racist jokes" on video chatting platform Tinychat. You can still enjoy your subscription until the end of your current billing period. This makes it inappropriate, if not impossible, to criticize individual women who seem to embrace and entrench their gendered unfreedom. An initial version of this paper was presented at Michigans Race, Gender and Feminist Philosophy Interdisciplinary Working Group panel on Cat Person, in 2018. The Right to Narcissism: A Case for an Im-possible Self-love. Narcissism leads women to positively set up and pursue interactions that further constitute them as unfree. Explained. We support credit card, debit card and PayPal payments. Not So, Says School Official A Michigan school superintendent debunked the rumor after a video from a December school board meeting. The actions of narcissistic women are not just self-protective, nor are they an unavoidable side effect of existing as a woman. If one cannot take someone as an object of love, one cannot love. Philosophical Studies, 173(1), 11330. Focusing on the case of writers, Beauvoir claims that one of the burdens that weighs on many women writers is [precisely] a self-indulgence that hurts their sincerity, limits and diminishes them (2011: 677). They consider themselves as pure activity, pure doing in the world. Coercion emerges then as the theoretical vocabulary available to explain subordination. Its not autobiographical; though many of the details and emotional notes come from life, Roupenian oncetoldthe New York Times. https://doi.org/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780195381443.001.0001, Lecarme-Taborde, liane (2011). The insistence on the need to relinquish the pleasures of self-worship allows us then to regain hope of a better life for women today. Soon after Kristen Roupenian's New Yorker short story " Cat Person " became a viral sensation, a Twitter account called Men React to Cat Person began compiling male responses gleaned from Facebook and Twitter. For some, this was a story about power and about how women are subtly coerced into sex that they do not want. To take this power away from artists their very ability to create and construct, to use the material of life in the way that a painter uses oil colors or an illustrator a pen is, as the author Tanwi Nandini Islam put it,suffocating.. Indeed, it is important to highlight that Beauvoirs account does direct us to a politics of socio-cultural change, well beyond womens self-transformation.45 After all, her conception of narcissism is that of a cultural pathology. Beauvoirs notion of narcissism reminds us that patriarchal ways of life do not just operate on women from the outside. As they kissed, she found herself carried away by a fantasy of such pure ego that she could hardly admit even to herself that she was having it. Le Deuxime Sexe lpreuve de la psychanalyse. It becomes not just a site for lamentation, but a tool to interrogate just how far young, relatively privileged women like Margot have come. Most importantly, a surprising number of women (and many men) found the story remarkably relatable, more like a documentary than fiction. In an essay for Slate, writer Alexis Nowicki said that the story . They invite woman more than man to turn toward self and dedicate her love to herself (my emphasis), but they certainly do not make all women narcissists. Cat Person is a short story published in The New Yorker by Kristen Roupenian about a young woman who meets an older man, goes on a date and has a bad experience. Esquire. She goes to his house and he says: "Just so you know, I have cats." They have sex.. Elite Daily. Cat People - Why Are Millennials So Afraid to Get It on? The New Statesman Podcast: Subscribers edition, Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance, HR, Training and Organisational Development, Information and Communications Technology, Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives, Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities, Science and Technical Research and Development. [, This success started a bidding war that landed the author a $1.3 million book deal, a television series in development and a sold screenplay (, This was also the year after Donald Trumps ascension to the presidency. "This kind of treatment is not ok, its completely inappropriate and it needs to stop," says Jaclyn Siegel, PhD candidate at Western University. Margot ultimately makes a decision on how she feels about the relationship as the story comes to a close. (2021) Half Victim, Half Accomplice: Cat Person and Narcissism, I think it is no coincidence that this is also an articulation of the self-referential sexual enjoyment that Beauvoir so clearly identifies: when she abandons herself on the arms of a lover, the [narcissist] accomplishes her mission: she is Venus dispensing the treasure of her beauty to the world (2011: 675). The story sparked several online debates as readers unpacked the themes. Silman, Anna (2017, December 12). Margot, as a narcissist, very much enjoys being able to elicit this response. It better explains both the twists and turns of the plot and its deeply disturbing effect. Cat Person: A Male and Female Take On the Most Talked-About Short Story of 2017. To affirm himself as Sovereign, a vain man needs help. As the language of social justice began to enter the media sphere, and our daily lexicon, it was easy and profitable for online outlets to push out this kind of low-maintenance, high-energy, easy-to-digest criticism that examined pop culturefor its superficial adherence (or failure to adhere) to liberal politics, in a kind of battle of the wokest. And yet she proceeds to laugh at his jokes, and to eventually kiss him again. Feminine narcissism can thus be harnessed and exploited to sustain masculine vanity. "Cat Person" is widely read because it is a bold and . There are also existential attitudes, like masculine vanity and feminine narcissism, which are crucial in structuring and propelling these ethically fraught heterosexual encounters. The 54-year . [, I am here borrowing the term masculine vanity from, Bauer highlights that this ambiguity is articulated by Beauvoir as a phenomenological dilemma for human beings: our experience is one of dualism or, more precisely, of a tension between our drive to transcend ourselves and our drive to cement our identities in ways that we and others will find ceaselessly praiseworthy (, Here, I am briefly sketching the complex story Beauvoir tells in Myths, in, As Beauvoir puts it, she is the mirror in which the male Narcissus contemplates himself (, She is his complement in the inessential mode. So the Cat Person Short Story Has Made Straight Men Feel Uncomfortable. Their Unrelenting Eyes: I Feel Pretty and the Entrapment of Narcissism [Blog post]. If we are worried about feminine narcissism, we should attack the social and cultural factors that explain why this is still a large-scale social phenomenon. Paradoxes of Femininity in the Philosophy of Simone de Beauvoir. Carolyn Sherlock's cat Tigger was stolen by a collector. So what is it about the story of a 20-year-old student's date with an older man that has captured the attention of so many? As a result, the narcissist is likely to be increasingly alone and frustrated, delving into ever more sociopathic modes of behavior. Nothing happened, but I can still relate to a disturbing amount of Margot's feelings here. The most striking element of Nowickis essay, to me, was that she said she has felt, at times, encouraged to almost retrospectively traumatise herself about a relationship she regarded as a good one, because it had been rewritten to fit a popular narrative of power dynamics and abuse. In an episode of Spotify's "The Joe Rogan Experience" podcast this week, host Joe Rogan told former U.S. Rep. Tulsi Gabbard that a litter box was installed in a school that his friend's . The Atlantic. "This phase of Cat Person discourse proves its not enough just to avoid dating writers. Like other denunciations, Cat Person was thought to be breaking the silence, touching on previously taboo topics.6 Two factors made it stand out from other #MeToo episodes though. Thus, she appears as a privileged prey. It was under this description that Cat Person became something around which so many women united in a collective cry of recognition and a release of righteous gratitude towards it (Parker & Wilkinson 2017). (Knowles 2019a: 246). To show this, I will start by recounting some of the key elements of the short story and of its online reception. The narcissist is not serious about writing. This Twitter post cannot be displayed in your browser. But, when Robert saw her face crumpling, a kind of magic happened. For discussions of the limits of the adaptive preferences framework and its relation to active complicity see, Roupenian is here in line with the dominant pop feminist reading: It is remarkably difficult for women to talk to our romantic partners about what, exactly, its like for us out there (, B. D. McClay goes further and argues that narcissism itself explains the public thirst for stories like, This self-transformation is therefore both intersubjective and part of a broader socio-cultural project of change. [, Other examples of famous narcissists cited by Beauvoir include noblewomen like Anne de Noailles and Barbara von Krdener, reinforcing this class dimension of her analysis. Margot is a college student working at an independent cinema. What circumstances are these? Are these the worst dates you've ever heard? Finally, narcissism is also intimately linked to gender-based subordination because it serves and complements a kind of masculine vanity at the root of womans oppression (Kruks 2013: 69).31 On Beauvoirs picture, at the very basis of patriarchal social relations we find men overinvesting themselves with valuenot qua objectsbut qua subjects. The narcissist is engaged in something at which she cannot fail, a faux-project: being herself. 01 Jun 2023 17:17:12 analyse how our Sites are used. Perhaps fiction shouldnt either. "The protagonist was a girl from my small hometown who lived in the dorms at my college and worked at the art-house theater where Id worked and dated a man in his 30s, as I had. Roberts response to her crying functions then as an encouraging cue, a promise of how much he could want her if she was willing to let herself be folded against him. (Tsai 2017). doi: 10.3998/ergo.1123, Show: Vancouver Citation Style | APA Citation Style, Melo Lopes, It is a deeply cultural pathology, an existential type connected to a gendered social position (Bjrk 2010: 43). The story accurately touches on dating as a 20-something-year-old, exploring the dynamic between Margot and Robert and how the power balance shifts back and forth as she gets to know him. The Cut. In re-centering self-transformation alongside socio-cultural transformation, Beauvoirian narcissism serves as a corrective to certain assumptions of the pop feminist political agenda. As the story progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that Robert is not the man Margot has been largely projecting onto his texts, nor is he actually someone she wants to date and the relationship sours in a climactic, revealing ending. There, Robert makes Margot not just an object of pleasure but a means of reaching this hubris of masculine vanity (Beauvoir 2011: 171).39 Nevertheless, this dream of possession is bound to fail, for as soon as he opens his arms, his prey once again becomes foreign to him and is ready to be taken by others (2011: 181). But, for Beauvoir, recognizing this is perfectly compatible with holding women responsible because the path to subordination is not always reducible to coercion. Published at the height of the #MeToo movement, it depicted a 'toxic date' and a disturbing sexual encounter between Margot, a college student, and Robert, an older man she meets at work. We look to novels, TV shows, and movies to teach us political lessons instead of engaging with their critical frameworks; consider, for example, recent reactions to Wonder Woman and the backlash against the all-woman casting of Ghostbusters. Many did not understand what Robert had done wrong. 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